Magic, Time Travel, and Other Fun Stuff

Hey beautiful! <3 My name's Hannah, what's yours? I'm 16 and I'm a writer, a fangirl, a follower of Jesus, and a high school junior. Also I love to talk to people and my ask box is always open, whether you have a problem or are just bored. Have a marvelous day! Carpe Diem!
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The biggest problem I have with “yesallwomen” trend is how it not just emphasizes first-world problems, but how it also generalizes ALL women, as if we ALL agree with “yesallwomen.”

Not all women live in fear, and not all women have been raped or abused, but most importantly, not all women are privileged enough to whine on the Internet about things like gendered McDonalds toys and men spreading their legs on the subway.

Your “yesallwomen” is an exercise in privilege above all else, a chance for your first-world “feminists” to whine and snivel about the most meaningless things. And I thought for once, maybe we’d focus on actual issues.

When it comes down to it, you do not speak for me. You speak for your hyper-sensitive, paranoid, delusional, fear-soaked cult of “feminists,” and I have to be the one to say it: That is #NOTALLWOMEN.

What kills me is that I DO actually have a fear of unknown men due to being sexually assaulted. However! That’s part of the reason why I go to therapy and see a psychiatrist. For the most part, it’s working and helping me out, resulting in that fear significantly decreasing. I don’t encourage people to embrace fear because there’s no strength in being perpetually afraid. And, fear leads to hatred and we all should know where hatred can go. For those that don’t, it means innocent people get hurt and there’s no justification on this world that I’ll accept for it.

You know, for a movement that supposedly fights the stereotype of women being emotional and hysterical, many of its adherents have no problem trying to use women’s fear and hysteria to force everyone to do what they want.



This is an enormous chain and I’m sorry, but I need to say this:

The laws in the Old Testament were set forth by god as the rules the Hebrews needed to follow in order to be righteous, to atone for the sin of Adam and Eve and to be able to get into Heaven. That is also why they were required to make sacrifices, because it was part of the appeasement for Original Sin.

According to Christian theology, when Jesus came from Heaven, it was for the express purpose of sacrificing himself on the cross so that our sins may be forgiven. His sacrifice was supposed to be the ultimate act that would free us from the former laws and regulations and allow us to enter Heaven by acting in his image. That is why he said “it is finished” when he died on the cross. That is why Christians don’t have to circumcise their sons (god’s covenant with Jacob), that is why they don’t have to perform animal sacrifice, or grow out their forelocks, or follow any of the other laws of Leviticus.

When you quote Leviticus as god’s law and say they are rules we must follow because they are what god or Jesus wants us to do, what you are really saying, as a Christian, is that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was invalid. He died in vain because you believe we are still beholden to the old laws. That is what you, a self-professed good Christian, are saying to your god and his son, that their plan for your salvation wasn’t good enough for you.

So maybe actually read the thing before you start quoting it, because the implications of your actions go a lot deeper than you think.

This is a theological point that doesn’t come up often enough.

Writing advice you’re not going to like.


People sometimes send me Asks wanting writing advice.  I suck at it.  I don’t really know how I do the writing, or how one should do the writing, or what one should do to get better at the writing.  All I can ever think to say is “write a lot of stuff and you will get better at the writing.”  Which is true, but hardly a bolt from the sky.

Well, as it turns out, I do have one piece of Legit Writing Advice, and I am going to share it with you, right now.  If you were in any of my writing workshop groups at a con, you’ve heard this advice already.

Warning: you’re going to fucking hate it.  But if you do it, you will thank me.

If you have a piece of fiction you’re serious about, something you might want to actually shop around, or just something you really are into and want to make it as good as you can…do NOT edit it.

Repeat.  DO NOT EDIT.


As in, print out the whole fucking thing and re-enter it, every word (or use two screens).  Retype the whole thing.  Recreate it from the ground up using your first draft as a template.  Start with a blank page and re-enter every. single. word.

I hear you screaming.  OH MY GOD THAT’S INSANE.

Yes.  Yes, it is.

It is also the most powerful thing you will ever do for a piece of fiction that you are serious about.

Now, let’s get real.  I don’t do this for most things.  I don’t do it for my fanfiction.  But if it’s something original, something I might like to get to a professional level - I do it.  You absolutely COULD do it for fanfiction.  It’s just up to you and how much time you want to sink into a piece.

You can edit, sure.  But you WILL NOT get down to the level of change that needs to happen in a second draft.  You will let things slide.  Your eyes will miss things.  You will say “eh, good enough.”

The first time I did this, on someone else’s advice, I was dubious.  Within two pages, I was saying WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN DOING THIS ALL THE TIME.  I was amazed at how much change was happening.  By the time I got to the end, I had an entirely different novel than the one I’d started with.  When you’re already re-entering every single word, it’s easy to make deep changes.  You’ll reformat sentences, you’ll switch phrases around, you’ll massage your word choice.  You’ll discover whole paragraphs that don’t need to be there at all because they became redundant.  You’ll find dialogue exchanges that need reimagining.  Whole plot points will suddenly be different, whole story arcs will reveal their flaws and get re-drawn.

You cannot get down to the fundamental level of change that’s required just by editing an existing document.  You have to rebuild it if you really want your story to evolve.  You will be AMAZED at the difference it will make.

It will take time.  It will seem like a huge, Herculean task.  I’m not saying it’s easy.  It isn’t.  But it is absolutely revolutionary.

Try it.  I promise, you will see what I mean.

*PSA: Tipsy!Lori wrote this post.  In case you couldn’t tell.


dude, what if a prince is cursed to be a dragon but instead of being upset by it, they’re like ‘hell yeah i’m a dragon’ and they spend weeks finding the perfect decrepit castle to haunt and try to convince their fiancé to be a princess in the tower ‘just for like a week’ and everyone is like ‘we can break the fucking curse’ and the prince is like ‘but i’m a dragon.’


fictional couples who are on a permanent last name basis


fictional couples who only ever use each other’s title or rank


fictional couples who then use each other’s first names in times of high stress or really intimate, heartwarming moments


like in “The Grave Danger Job” when Hardison was buried alive and Parker said “I need you, Alec!” while half-crying on the phone with him, the only time in the entire show someone called Hardison by his first name? like that? 




Why is it that evil villains always find poison to inject into their victims like just literally fill the syringe with air and just stick the needle between their toes or something. It’ll mimic a heart attack and the victim will die pretty quick and NO ONE WILL ASK MANY QUESTIONS BECAUSE IT’LL LOOK LIKE A HEART ATTACK

first of all how do you know this information i feel like the government doesnt want you to know that



dude, what if a prince is cursed to be a dragon but instead of being upset by it, they’re like ‘hell yeah i’m a dragon’ and they spend weeks finding the perfect decrepit castle to haunt and try to convince their fiancé to be a princess in the tower ‘just for like a week’ and everyone is like ‘we can break the fucking curse’ and the prince is like ‘but i’m a dragon.’

“Now, Prince Alex, just calm down.” Chaldean Lemonjello stepped back slowly, trying to keep his voice steady as he stared into the dichromatic eyes of the massive black dragon in front of him. “Just stand still and try not to breathe fire and I’ll change you back.”

The dragon, who five minutes ago had been 19-year-old Prince Alex, shook his huge head and snorted, sending small puffs of smoke into the summer air.

Chaldean tried not to panic. “Why are you shaking your head? I’ve got, like, seven different ways to do it. Would you prefer a reversal spell, a true-form spell, Perfum d’Human—”

Alex shook his head again and snorted even more smoke out of his nostrils. Chaldean coughed. “Well, you can’t stay a dragon. Your father is having enough trouble keeping the castle calm, and it’s entirely your fault. You know you’re not supposed to come into the spellroom while I’m working.”

Prince Alex whined and put his tail between his legs. Chaldean hadn’t even known dragons could whine.

Chaldean sighed. “Come on. Stick your head through the spellroom window.” Chaldean had managed to shoo the prince out into the courtyard mid-transformation, which was why the small stone spellroom was still intact rather than smashed by a giant dragon body.

Prince Alex let out a loud, angry roar and unfolded his massive wings. “NO!” Chaldean yelled, realizing what was about to happen.

Alex flapped his wings and rose into the air. The sudden gust of wind knocked Chaldean over. “Damnit, Alex!” he yelled as the dragon flew higher and higher into the blue sky.

Alex was amazed at how natural flying felt. Within a few minutes, he had learned how to soar higher or lower, faster or slower, and how to steer. He was soon lost above the clouds, miles from the castle.

This was amazing. Maybe he would just stay a dragon and avoid the responsibilities that came with being the disappointing youngest son of a powerful king.

Alex tucked his wings closer to his body and shot forward, leaving his problems behind. He shot a jet of fire into the endless blue, admiring the brilliance of the flames. He flew through a fluffy white cloud, enjoying the cool water vapor against his scales.

After about an hour of playing in the clouds, Alex dove down toward the land. Flying was fun, but it would be a lot more fun if he had someone to share it with. His brothers would be scornful, his sisters scared, his friends a mix of the two. But there was one more person he could try.

Brianne was the daughter of Duke Mattheis, one of the most powerful dukes in the country. The match between Alex and Brianne was a smart one that had been arranged several months ago. The marriage would solidify intranational relations and show would-be rebels that Duke Mattheis was loyal to the king. It helped that Alex and Brianne were the same age and got along reasonably well, but—as Alex’s father made sure to clarify—this was just a side benefit.

Not that Alex was unhappy about the marriage. Bri was pretty, and he liked her. But he wasn’t really sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

Still, something steered his wings toward Duke Mattheis’s castle. People started screaming and running for cover as he circled the keep. Seeing a dragon flying overhead was rare but not unheard of, but to see one landing in the courtyard was another matter. Alex ignored the screaming people and stuck his head through the window to Brianne’s room.

Brianne and her mother, Duchess Annabelle, were sitting on the bed, bent over an embroidery hoop. Duchess Annabelle saw him first and jumped to her feet, screaming.

Brianne didn’t move, too petrified to even scream. The dragon wasn’t moving, just staring intently at her with huge—and familiar—eyes. One blue, one green. “Alex?”

The dragon roared, and her mother screamed again, but Brianne could tell it was a happy roar. “Prince Alex, is that you?”

Alex nodded. Then he turned so that his shoulders were beside the window. He looked back over his shoulder and beckoned with his claw.

Duchess Annabelle found her voice. “Absolutely not!” she said shrilly. “She is not coming with you to go gallavanting about the skies! I don’t care if you are engaged!”

At that moment, the guards burst through the door. “DRAGON! Get back, your graces!”

Guards were rushing toward Alex on the ground, too, their spears pointed at his massive feet. Another minute and he’d have to take off, with or without Bri.

“Don’t hurt him!” Brianne yelled. The guards ignored her and continued advancing slowly toward Alex’s head.

Duchess Annabelle’s fear had turned into fury. “I don’t care who you are, you can’t land in the middle of my castle and terrify my husband’s subjects and expect to take my daughter on some magical joyride! Get out of here before I let the guards poke your eyes out!” She wrapped her arm tightly around Brianne’s narrow shoulders and steered her toward the door.

Alex let out a sigh of disappointment. He glanced down at the ground. The guards there were now poking his feet with their spears, doing absolutely no damage through his thick scales.

Brianne glanced over her shoulder and gave Alex an apologetic look. He widened his eyes in a pleading way.

A small smile played across Bri’s lips. She glanced at her mother, then the guards, then Alex. Her smile widened.

Bri spun, breaking away from her mother’s grip. She sprinted toward the window, her skirts hiked up to her knees.

“Brianne! Get back here!” Duchess Annabelle shrieked, her voice drowned out by Alex’s roar of excitement.

Bri clambered onto the wooden chair by the window and launched herself out, grabbing two of Alex’s spikes and pulling herself up onto his back, just in front of his wings. “Go!” she yelled.

Alex took off, throwing the guards that had started climbing on his feet to the ground. After a few flaps of his wings, they were high in the air.

Brianne let out a shriek of joy and excitement. Intensely aware of the precious cargo on his back, Alex flew as smoothly and carefully as he could, his dragon’s mouth curving in a smile at her unbridled exultation.

Bri was sitting sidesaddle between two of Alex’s spikes, clinging tightly to the one right in front of her. She felt safe and protected in his care, and he liked the warm weight of her on his back.

They soared for a while, enjoying the excitement of flying and the comfortable silence of each other’s company. Alex demonstrated his fire-breathing ability, and Bri oohed and ahhed appropriately. Brianne pointed out various landmarks on the ground, and Alex—who found this stuff much more interesting when Bri was talking about it than he had while studying geography—nodded with genuine interest.

When Alex felt himself beginning to tire, he landed on the top of a tall hill at the edge of the kingdom.

Bri slipped off his back and stumbled a bit in the grass. She ran around to stand in front of his head. “That was so amazing!” She spun around, her arms outstretched, skirts flaring out. “WOOOOOO!”

Drunk on flight and excitement, she cupped his huge, scaly chin in her small soft hands and kissed him.

Alex felt the transformation start instantly. His scales fell away, his wings shrank to nothing, and his body shrunk, until he was just an ordinary man, his face still cupped in Brianne’s hands.

She dropped her hands to her side and giggled nervously. “Oh. True love’s kiss. I forgot.”

“Fantastic,” Alex said, only half sarcastically. “We’re only on a hill in the middle of nowhere.”

“Hey, but if that kiss worked, we must be doing something right…” Bri said with a small smile.

“Well, I could have told you that without the kiss,” Alex said, taking both her hands in his. “From the moment you started running toward that window.”

“That was when I knew, too,” Brianne whispered, standing on her toes so that their faces were level.

They kissed again, a proper kiss this time, long and slow and sweet. They broke apart and grinned at each other.

“It’s, like, a four hour walk to the nearest road and no one knows where we are,” Alex pointed out.

“Shhhhhh…” Bri murmured, and kissed him again.

Alex pulled away. “We really should go.”

“Shut up and kiss me, dragon boy,” said Bri.

Alex grinned. The real world could wait. Today, they were the only ones in the world.